"Give Me My Meds and No One Gets Hurt!" Or: How Astrology Made Me a Bad Mother

Getting medication refilled is a nightmare.  It’s bad enough that I have an anxiety disorder, but when the process of getting medicine is almost as bad as the anxiety itself, it’s enough to make one certifiably insane.  I just want to get in, get my meds, and get out of there before somebody gets hurt.  But alas, it is written in the stars (Pluto being in Capricorn or whatever) that the day I choose to bring my 4 children with me to the pharmacy everything has to go wrong.

I realized a little late that I was almost out of one of my medications.  Since I needed it today and I’m only allowed to order refills for the NEXT day, I drove “down the hill” to the pharmacy (If you want to know why this took me an hour you can read my post, The top 10 ways you know you live in the mountains) to place the order in person.  The boys behaved beautifully, thank goodness, and were extremely helpful, but for some reason the girls were as hyper as I have ever seen them (probably because Neptune is in the 3rd house).  They were running laps around the  lines of people while big brothers tried to corral them into chairs.  Then they were hopping from chair to chair, falling into each other and screeching, eventually bumping into an old man.  I was actually relieved when the girls were making imaginary snow angels (dirt angels?) on the floor because at least they were in one place and playing quietly.

That didn’t last long, though and I ended up putting them in time-out for telling potty jokes, but they just kept sliding down off their time-out chairs.  I threatened them with “No soda when we go to Burger King” and that kept them in place.  But after time-out they were back to running rampant.  Finally I grabbed Princess, forced her to the ground and threatened her again with no soda. Maybe I should have done that from the beginning because it actually worked.  But I wouldn’t have wanted to bring out the “big guns” too early.  I had to have something to hold over their heads in case the soda thing didn’t work and they ended up behaving even worse.

Despite my efforts, my apologies, and my “nice” face, it was obvious that the people at the pharmacy were (almost) as sick of my kids as I was.  It wasn’t just that I was FEELING like everyone was staring at me, or that they would stare and then look away.  No, these people were absolutely, unabashedly staring at us.  It was worse than the time it was just 5 kids and I at IN-N-OUT  and Preemie sat on the floor screeeeeeaming her head off for a full 10 minutes.  I alternated doting on her, ignoring her, scowling at her, and finally just laughing at her.  The only person who said anything that night was a little girl who announced to everyone when the crying was finally over.  But today this older dude kept making comments that I didn’t even know how to take.  When I created a barrier between the girls and the really old man they had bumped into, Dude said, “Oh, that was nice of you.”  Is that sarcasm?  I’m doing my best over here, bub, would you like to help me?”  And then later he says, “They’re just like boys!” while the girls are bumping into each other and laughing their heads off.  Really?  Only boys act crazy?  In your day was it unseemly for a little girl to play around?

By now we were at the counter and of course there was a problem with my medication (like I said, Uranus in the 12th house).  I had to fill out a form for one thing and wait on approval for another while my phone was ringing, and the girls were sitting at my feet yelling/crying/laughing.  Then the lady behind the counter starts up with, “Are they mad or something?”  and as I’m stuttering, “Yeah…no…um…”  I’m just thinking, who cares what they are, just give me my meds before someone gets hurt!

We finally got the medication and high-tailed it out of there.  I could literally FEEL the sigh of relief as we left the building and I can only imagine what those people were saying about us after we left.  I subsequently punished the girls by taking away their special blankies when we got in the car, and telling them over and over again that it was because they had been too crazy at the pharmacy (hardly an effective parenting strategy).    The whole drive to Burger King I was pondering on my incompetencies as a mother and how I had failed my children and the whole of humanity by not teaching my kids to act appropriately in public.  I felt better when we got there and I saw the kids playing nicely on the slide.  Was it just me, or were they actually calmer playing on the equipment than they were at the Pharmacy?  It’s amazing what a change of venue can do to a person.  Me included.

Luckily I survived the incident with my sanity, if not my dignity, intact.  As for my bad parenting, I’ll chalk that up to a momentary blight caused by the moon in the cusp of Virgo…or something.

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Photo credit: CLAUDIA DEA

0 thoughts on “"Give Me My Meds and No One Gets Hurt!" Or: How Astrology Made Me a Bad Mother

  1. Good news, once you have a 12 year old he is legally allowed to tend kids in the car, and you can leave the kids in the car, strapped in!!

    In the meantime, here is meaningless advice from someone who has to only supervise one three year old at a time. Rather than make the little girls stand with you, could the big boys take the little girls over to the toy aisle (in a drug store) or play some other sort of game with them slightly away from you and the bystanders in line? I spy? red light, green light? sing I’m a little tea pot, once there was a snowman, or something else with motions?

    No matter what, taking 4 children anywhere is an act of heroism, and I commend you!!

  2. Oh Crystal! As another with panic disorder & sometimes unruly kids, I commiserate with you! All I can say is thank goodness our pharmacy offers mail order. The good news is that it does get better – though it doesn’t seem at all possible at the time of the behavior. Now that they’re 10 & 12 (where did the time go?!) I can take them anywhere.

    But I’ve had my share of tantrums, running off and mommy screaming fits. (BTW, if the nice lady with kids who watched baby Megan in the grocery cart while I chased 3 yr old Matt through a crowded grocery store is reading – THANK YOU!) I’ve been known to hand my cart to an employee with a muttered “sorry” and sling the offending child over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes as I leave the store. And that’s so much fun when your anxiety is running over and your brain is absolutely convinced that, yes, you are about to have a heart attack right here and now.

    Do the girls like books? To this day I insist that the kiddos bring books with them if they’re going to be waiting. Reading books, comic books, Baby Blues, I don’t care – just sit and read! I’m sorry that the people there weren’t more understanding. After all the times I’ve had problems, I try to offer mom an understanding comment, a smile or a hand if needed.

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