When people talk about the pioneers they always talk about how BRAVE they were and how much they SUFFERED. They were so HEROIC and FAITHFUL despite all of their TRIBULATIONS. Well they didn’t know the half of it. The sacrifices I make on a daily basis are astronomical. The cross I am called to bear in this life is nearly impossible to endure. Today, for example, I spent my morning rushing kids around when I would rather have been asleep in my bed with my down comforter. Now I know what you are thinking, the pioneers didn’t have down comforters. Well that’s exactly my point. They didn’t know the torment of being curled up in a warm and soft down comforter and having to pry yourself away from it it at the ungodly hour of 7:58am to slave in the kitchen making breakfast for four kids. How am I expected to handle serving 3 different sugar cereals and haul 2 different milk jugs out of the fridge because those selfish little brats won’t eat the same thing?
Despite the unconscionable time I spent making breakfast for my kids I still got the boys to school on time…barely. From there I proceeded to the gym all the way in Twin Peaks. It took me a full 15 minutes to traverse 10 miles of mountain roads. I bet even the wagon trains moved faster than that through the mountain passes. To make matters worse, while I was at the gym enjoying my Cardio Funk workout, the child care provider informed me that Preemie was in need of a serious diaper change. So I had to interrupt my precious workout time to wipe someone’s bottom. And you can’t tell me that the pioneers ever experienced the horror of a disposable baby wipe slipping right in the middle of a wipe and getting poo on your hand. Yuck! Luckily the antibacterial soap in the bathroom took care of that, but still. After I returned Preemie to the child care the Cardio Funk class was over. Sometimes I wish that I had been a pioneer just so I could get a decent workout once in a while. Anyway, I took a shower in the locker room and I couldn’t believe the state it was in. The water pressure was weak, it was either too hot or too cold, the shower door was translucent and I had to wrap myself in a towel too small for my body and run over cold tile back and forth to the changing room. I would rather have had the water pressure of a river that’s at least at a constant temperature. And the pioneers had no fear of strangers seeing them naked because everyone in the wagon train knew each other! To top it all off, to my utter horror, I discovered that-get this-I had left my street shoes at home. Instead of having my totally sweet bright pink converse, I had to wear my grungy old workout shoes. In public! I went to at least 3 or 4 different stores and who knows how many people saw me in those disgusting things. If I had been wearing no shoes at all I would have been less embarrassed. Through all this I did learn one thing: that the pioneers had absolutely no idea what suffering really was.