"Ew, Did You Fart?"

*In our church we have an hour long sacrament meeting during which we usually have a couple of talks given by members of the congregation.  These talks are prepared ahead o time and are like a formal sermon.  But on the first Sunday of every month we deviate from this format and allow anyone who feels like it to get up and “bear their testimony”.   So we end up with a dozen or so people getting up throughout the hour sharing a faith-promoting experience or telling how they feel about the principles of the gospel.  Often these testimonies will begin with the phrase, “Brothers and Sisters, I just want to bear my testimony…”  And one such Sunday, after J-Dub (who was about 2 at the time) had heard , “Brothers and Sisters, I just want…”, “Brothers and Sisters, I just want…” over and over and over again, he stood up and said, “Brothers and Sisters, I just want…an orange.”

*When J-Dog was little he caught a spider in a jar and asked me if the spider would get out.  I told him no, that the spider wasn’t strong enough to get out of the jar and he said, “I’m strong because I eat oatmeal!”  Apparently my cajoling him to eat his oatmeal by telling him it would make him strong had worked.

*J-Dub was about 2 when we were sitting outside and one of his little friends walked by.  J-Dub picked a booger from his nose, held it up, and proudly announced, “Look!  J-Dub have booger my nose!”

*Awhile ago the girls found a snail outside.  Princess wanted a spoon so that she could scoop it into a bowl.  Daddy told her to just pick it up with her fingers.  Princess would have none of it.  She said, “But under it there is…goo.”  When I went outside to see the snail progress I saw Preemie poking the upside-down snail with a poky ball stuck on a fork.

*We were planning a camping trip and while discussing what we would need to bring, Princess piped up with, “OK.  We need sleeping bags, marshmallows, jammies, our babies (blankies) and puppets (what?).  When Daddy asked, “What about a tent?” She replied, “OOOOOOOOOOkay.  And a tent.”

“How about firewood?”

“OH YES!  Firewood!!!!!”

*My mom told me she didn’t know how to get to my church from my house.  Princess said, “Oh Grandma, you just go past the lake, and when you see the church, you’re at church!”

*I was talking to my sister about a guy she kissed and when she was going to give me details, J-Dog, who is nine, walked into the room.  Since we didn’t want him hearing make-out details, we stopped talking.   My sister hesitated and said, “I don’t know what words I can use around him.”  To which J-Dog replied, “You can use ANY words, I know everything already!”

*When Princess was Little she put her hands on daddy’s face and said, “Daddy, you are my precious princess!”

*The other day Princess was playing with two Strawberry Shortcake dolls and they were “talking” to each other.  While I was listening in I heard one of the dolls make a blowing noise like, “Poooooooohhhhhh” and then the other one said, “Ew, did you fart?!”

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