Why is it so freaking hard to lose weight??? It’s not just that it takes a long time, but that I keep thwarting my own weight-loss efforts (as the slew of Butterfinger wrappers right next to me will attest). It seems almost cliche because practically everybody is trying to lose weight. But I am currently (and this number changes every day) 63 pounds over my goal weight. And this goal is on the higher end of my “normal” BMI range. It could be worse, and it HAS been worse, but it still feels like losing that amount is a complete impossibility. I had a friend tell me that the way I talk it sounds like I weigh 800 pounds or something. Well, I feel like it.
I have tried several different ways of losing weight and the thing that worked for me last time was counting my calories, including calories burned though exercise. I stayed within 1650 calories every day for 97 days straight and lost 40 pounds. At the end I rewarded myself with a day at the spa and a night alone in a hotel. After 97 days I took a day off and wasn’t able to sustain consistent calorie-counting after that, so I gained most of it back.
I started the calorie-counting again back on January 1st and was doing great until I got sick. It was all down hill after that. I do great once I get started, but once I mess up I have such a hard time getting back on the wagon. Why is that? Why can’t I just realize that one mess up is better than a whole string of mess ups?
I’m contemplating something a little more extreme. I’m thinking of completely giving up sugar. Sugar is one thing I really think I am addicted to. Once I have a little sugar I go crazy and have as much as I can get my hands on. So on the one hand, eliminating sugar could help me to not overeat. Sometimes it’s easier just to go all or nothing. On the other hand, eliminating sugar could be so difficult for me that I completely rebel and go back to eating whatever I want, whenever I want. Sometimes being too extreme can do that to you.
Everything seems to make it harder for me: the presence of yummy foods (especially chocolate), stress, relaxing, anything! But I really want to look better, not to mention be healthier. Obesity-related Hypertension, Diabetes, and Gout all run in my family. It’s like a prophecy of what my life will be like in the future. Shouldn’t that be motivation enough? Obviously not.
Well, I’m getting back on the wagon again on Tuesday. No, make that tomorrow, Monday, even if it IS a holiday. I can do it. I have to do it. I will do it. Now that I have committed to you all that I will do it, that should be a good motivator, right? Right?? In case it’s not enough, tell me, what motivates you to reach your goals?