The V-Day dilemma

A lot of people are either completely opposed to the idea of Valentine’s day or couldn’t really care less one way or the other.  Some say that it’s a useless holiday created by the greeting card companies to take our money.  To that I say, so what?  You can make your own cards if you want  to boycott Hallmark.  Some say that they show their significant other that they love them everyday and that they don’t need a special day to do that.  I say, well then what’s wrong with showing your love on this day too?  My 10-year-old son says that he hates Valentine’s Day because all the candy is red and pink and you think it’s going to be fruity-flavored but it turns out to be cinnamon. GAG!  A friend of mine calls it “Single Awareness Day” saying that she knows she’s single, and doesn’t need a holiday to annually remind her of that.  I totally understand that point. I’ve felt the same way in the past (although to be fair I was married at 18 so I didn’t feel that way very long).  But for the rest of us it’s fun and we can’t just do away with it for a few people who don’t like it.  I love Valentine’s Day and deep down I think most women do (and let’s face it, it’s mainly for women).  Even most single women won’t always be single.   And it’s the one day of the year your significant other is pretty much obligated to be romantic.  He knows if he doesn’t measure up on this day that he’s busted.  I, as a woman, love romantic things: flowers, chocolates, special dinners, Martinelli’s sparkling cider (hey, I’m a Mormon after all), walks on the beach, jewelry (engraved or otherwise), and heartfelt letters and/or poems.

These are things that I absolutely love but that I don’t get every day.  My husband definitely shows me he loves me.  He does dishes, plays with the kids, gives me a night off every week, gives me compliments, holds my hand, plays with my hair, and takes me out for a weekly date.  We even go out for weekends away every once in awhile.  But the out-of-the-ordinary romantic gestures have a place sometime, and one of those times is February 14th.

My hubby is great at those special days.  Mother’s Day, Valentine’s Day, and our anniversary are all days that Josh has down pat.  I always get something special whether it’s a weekend away at a bed & breakfast, or a little note saying how much he cares about me.  But I had to teach him how to do this.  Our first Valentine’s day together I “heart-attacked” his car (is taping construction paper hearts on someone else’s property just a Mormon thing?) while he was at church and left him a poem that I had written.  Guess what he did for me? Nothing.  Not one dang thing!  His excuse?  That it was a Sunday.  As Mormons we aren’t supposed to go shopping on Sundays.  So my question is, couldn’t he have bought me chocolates or a card the day BEFORE?  If he couldn’t plan a whole day ahead, he could have at least written me a little note saying , “I love you”.  I’m really not that picky about the presentation (although I have no qualms about being completely spoiled), but I do insist on being recognized on Valentine’s Day by my boyfriend/fiance/husband.  Whether it’s something cheap or easy, or something expensive or intricately planned, I don’t care.  I just want to know he was thinking of me.

If in our culture February 14th is a day to show your loved ones that you care, and you don’t participate, what does that say to them?  On the other hand, what does it say to your loved one when, although generally opposed to any holiday where the bank isn’t closed, you still take the time to show that you care?  And guys, now that you know that even a little note about how you love her will have her melting in your arms, what’s stopping you?

0 thoughts on “The V-Day dilemma

  1. I agree with you… it is a little odd that “they” get to pick a day for I Love Yous, but it’s also good that that such a day exists so that we can be reminded to do something special/extra. No matter how much your sweetie does for you, the unexpected bonus is always good. (But is it *that* unexpected on 2/14, really? Okay, the dilemma continues.)

  2. I’m weird. I asked my hubby to skip the chocolates (I’m trying to lose weight), nix the card, forget the flowers (allergies). I made him promise to take me to purchase a few cases of tomato products on Friday for my storage. (Yep, weird I tell you!)

    But sweetie commissioned my daughter to make me a beautiful glass pearl bracelet with blue and green beads and silver accents. Just gorgeous!


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